Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
