Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
