waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
