I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
