he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
