Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
