I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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