benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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