I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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