On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize