don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
