Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize