I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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