Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
