i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize