At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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