Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
