I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
