lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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