so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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