Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
