Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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