AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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