I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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