2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
nutella sex= disaster
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
