are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
