I will die if light touches me.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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