I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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