**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
operation harelip BJ is a go
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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