He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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