every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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