he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Everything about him screamed your future.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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