You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
