Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize