So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
