so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize