i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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