I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
