that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
