Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
