I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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