6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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