I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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