in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
