plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
