Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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