I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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