Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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