What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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