I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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