whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
