well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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