I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
