Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
This house was built for laser tag.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
