I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
