I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
