so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
