He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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