went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Boobs speak an international language.
When did angry sex become our thing?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
