I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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