So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
