I must be too annoying 4 u.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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