I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
